The thoughts running through a person’s mind can greatly impact a romantic relationship, yet many couples underestimate the influencing power of perceptions.
The negative views, even when they are kept quiet, you have for your partner adversely affect your friendship and intimacy. Negative thinking acts as a slow poison that ruins a healthy relationship. Moreover, negativity magnifies the faults and mistakes of your partners. The negative bias becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
According to an expert couple therapist in Chicago, there are several negative thoughts that will turn a relationship toxic and can even lead to divorce.
These feelings create emotional and physical distance between the partners, which eventually introduce criticism, stonewalling, and defensiveness in the relationship.
If you want to maintain intimacy and happiness in your partnership, start with a positive attitude towards your partner. Be kind, grateful, and more forgiving.
These kinds of positive thoughts and actions will bolster your relationship against the noxious effects of cynicism. However, if the clouds of negativity are overwhelming and you cannot overcome them on your own, seek the help of a certified couple therapist near your area. They can help you manage and replace the negative thoughts that are sabotaging your relationship.
We have crafted a list of thoughts that can poison a relationship.
1. Blaming Your Spouse For Everything
Relationships are not a bed of roses. It is full of challenges and difficulties – so expect them. Don’t blame your partner when things go wrong. Romantic relationships are not about “I”; it’s about “we.” So, analyze a situation calmly and find solutions, rather than throwing out accusations and blame. Also, don’t hesitate to admit when the mistake is yours.
2. Making Big Deal Of Small Things
Most arguments are about nothing. People often argue about small and silly things with their spouses. For instance, being late, leaving a wet towel on the bed, or forgetting a birthday. Making a big deal of these bitsy things can have a catastrophic effect on your union. You will surprise at how these small mindset changes will make a great difference in your relationship.
3. Assuming The Worst
Thinking something will not go right at the start rarely results in positive outcomes. The negative assumption creates conflict and friction between the partners. Keep your mind open and be optimistic. Glass-half-full thoughts will nurture and sustain a meaningful, long-lasting relationship.
4. Being Judgmental
Don’t pass worthless judgment on people, as it can create a never-ending gap in your partnership. For instance, don’t give prejudiced labels to your spouse’s family and friends. This can cause defensiveness and unnecessary conflict.
5. Comparing With Ex
The past is past. Live in your present and never compare your current partner with your ex. Two people are never alike and comparison is a relationship killer. It feeds into a “What if” mentality – which is never a good thing. It set idealized expectations that will never be fulfilled.
6. Refusing To Enjoy Life
Are you a rigid kind of person who doesn’t like to have fun? If that’s so, you might be lacking the real joy of marriage. Celebrate little things and spend time with your partner. Feel-good, positive activities ultimately bring you closer to your spouse.
7. Behaving Entitled
Entitled behavior never works in a relationship. Don’t think you have the right to do something, but your partner doesn’t. For example, if you get too tired after work and don’t want to clean up the kitchen, don’t expect your spouse to clean up when he or she is tired.
The Bottom Line -:
Fill your mind with loving thoughts about your partner and stay away from toxic thoughts. Negative thought patterns have ruined perfectly good relationships. Don’t fall into that trap.